All Rejections Are Not Created Equal

Geplaatst op 09-02-2023

When it comes to meeting women, all rejections are not created equal. I’ve discussed this in the past, but when you make a statement about rejections, you have to be very careful to specify exactly what you mean by a “rejection” so that there’s context.

Confusion Over Rejection

The inspiration for this post came from a post over at Loveawake dating site blog titled In This Battle of the Sexes Women Need to Blink First. The advice is definitely not the worst out there since it basically tells women to be feminine, but as is common in Walsh’s posts, a few points stand out that demonstrate her lack of understanding of how Game plays out in the real world. Take the following paragraph:

Indeed, if women are appropriately discerning in their choice of sexual partner, [then] most men will be rejected most of the time. Even hard core players confess to a 90% failure rate. Their strategy is based on volume rather than quality of approaches. (emphasis mine)

In Walsh’s world, players have an incredibly high failure rate because women are sexually discerning. They can tell the guy is “only after one thing”, so they reject him. The volume approach requires getting shot down enough times to find the ones who aren’t sexually discerning. The quality approach must then be the opposite: Joe Schmoe approaches a girl with honest intentions, and she agrees to sex because she’s properly discerning.

Approaching: Volume vs Quality

Ever heard the saying “correlation does not imply causation”? Yep, that applies here.

Here’s the true distinction between Walsh’s “quality” and volume: a quality approach is used when a guy is interested in a particular girl. He discovers before ever approaching whether the girl is available for a relationship and then seeks to optimize the timing of the approach. Volume, on the other hand, is used when a guy is looking for any girl who meets his standards. This method requires that a guy approach a girl without any foreknowledge of her availability and at less than optimal moments, but he offsets this handicap by approaching a large number of women.

Of course the “quality” approach has a lower risk of rejection; the dude is sniping. However, when the “quality” approach guy gets shot down, it’s because she wasn’t interested in him. In contrast, frequently the volume approach rejections aren’t truly rejections because the vast majority of the time not because of any issue with the guy, but because as a result of the girl’s situation: she has a boyfriend, it’s her time of the month, he looked like her lying ex, etc. If the volume guy was able to do his homework beforehand like the “quality” guy, then his rejection rate would plummet. Unfortunately, that’s not possible, so guys who want options are going to have to continue soldiering through “rejections”.

Walsh should know better. Elsewhere in her site she talks about the difficulty of screening out cads. She can’t have it both ways. Either women are sexually discerning or they’re not, because all rejections are not created equal.